The BlackBurne Legacy (The Bloodlines Legacy Series Book 1) by Apryl Baker

Author:Apryl Baker [Baker, Apryl]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Limitless Publishing LLC
Published: 2016-04-25T22:00:00+00:00

Chapter

Thirteen

I blink at the clock with bleary eyes, surprised to see it’s nine fifteen. I’d slept for hours, and Lord, how I hurt. I feel like that same little girl again, and all I want to do is crawl under my covers with my teddy bear and cry.

I hate feeling like this. Anger flares hot and hard. My mother—how, how could she leave us? How could she leave me? I’ll never get the chance to confront her now, to scream and yell. That is what my therapist at Compton was adamant about, that I need to confront her to deal with some of my abandonment issues. She’s gone, and that chance is gone with her.

Do I love her? Yeah, I guess I do, but it doesn’t change the fact that I still hate her. Letting myself feel the pain I’ve bottled up for years doesn’t change that. I can’t forgive all the pain she’s caused. Maybe I never will.

I clean myself up in the bathroom. The girl in the mirror shocks me. I’m a mess—my face pale and tired. Black, hollow eyes stare back at me. I pull out my phone, feeling it vibrate—Luka. It shuts off before I can answer it. There are three more text messages from him demanding to know what is wrong. I usually answer him within a few minutes. I bet he’s freaking out.

Micah is asleep on the couch, a pizza box on the coffee table and a two liter of Dr. Pepper beside him. I smile softly. He must have carried me inside. I don’t remember anything after I got in the car. Jason’s door is open, so I go in. He isn’t home yet. He must be at Dad’s. He still has a picture of Mom. I dig it out of a shoebox in the top of his closet and sit down in the floor, the picture held in my hands.

I have the insane urge to rip it up, to destroy her smile like she had mine. I still want to, despite everything Emma told me. She is the reason I’m crazy, the reason for my going to Compton.

Everything bad that has ever happened to me centers around the day my mom left us. The nightmares started the night she left and gradually got worse, and then when I cracked, I remember seeing her face flash in and out of the glimpses of snarling, snapping teeth. When I first checked into Compton, they put me in the “infirmary.” It’s the smell that stays with me. It smells of antiseptic and sterile cleaning fluids. I almost choked on that smell for the first few days. The doctors couldn’t understand it. The scent overpowered everything else. They had to move me to a room that was free of the cloying scents. I started to breathe normally after that. It’s one of the few things I remember before my mind checked out for a while.

They strapped me to the bed, to keep me from hurting myself, they said, but it was more to keep them safe from me.

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